****W*A*R*N*I*N*G****

I need to bounce some stuff out here, the next couple of blogs are really just for me. I need to work through a couple of things and the best way I know how is to write it down. No need to worry, by the time anyone reads this, it will already be worked out.

FEAR-
STRESS-
DECISIONS-
MEDITATION-

What is it that cause fear-fight-flight reactions...what is the the quickest way to work through the fear and get to the other side.

What about stress, how does it sneak up on you without you realizing it is there? How do you get away from the daily stressors, like the economic situation of the world, emotions, choices that need answers, family, health, etc.

I found this quote and I really like it...True courage is like flying a kite; a contrary wind raises it higher. So true for where I am right now.

One thing that has been bothering me, is that I have been afraid to fly in the mountains. Flying over them is ok, but still makes my butt pucker. Last Friday I went with Rich, my flight instructor (CFI) to start trying to conquer my demons. I took off, flew west towards the foothills, started a nice climb up to 9,500 feet. Rich said to just follow the highway and relax. I'm doing good, we get up into the pines, skimming over the small towns, looking at the huge cabins (houses), then he says, "hang a right and fly north up the canyon." No problem, I hang a right and within seconds I'm flying up a narrow canyon, mountains and trees on both sides, my training tells me to fly one side of the canyon in case I need an escape, I then have plenty of room to turn and head back out. So I need to figure out what the winds are doing, no problem with my super-duper G1000, the winds are blowing 45 degrees off my right nose. "What does that mean," Rich asks me? It means that the updraft are going to be on the opposite side of the canyon. Wind flows around mountains like water flows around rocks in a stream. To figure out what the wind is going to do you have to look at it like water. All of a sudden the winds are shifting around as 1 canyon converges with 3 more and we are getting rocked! This is what I dread and what I fear the most. I know I will not fall out of the sky but I hate it! I hold on for what seems like an eternity, but it's getting worse, not better. I ask Rich for help and he takes the controls so I can catch my breath. It doesn't let up so he starts a climb up to 11,500 looking for smoother air, which after a few minutes we find.

But...I already feel defeated. I let it get to me and I gave in and I hate that feeling worse than the bumps. We make a big loop over a big open area called South Park and then start heading back to the airport. I finally get my nerve back and take the controls, flying us over the Hayman burn area over the last hump of mountains, down the canyon and into the Denver area. I am feeling better, but disappointed. Coming in I make a pretty good landing, still need a little work to keep the nose off the ground a little longer, but after being rattled, I'm pretty happy to find some success.

Back at the hangar, we go over the flight, I walk through it over and over. I map it, I chair fly it and I beat the heck out of myself for being a wimpy woosy. I make the commitment to Rich to fly back into the foothills every week and to fly the next few weeks with him back into the mountains, until I conquer the fear and master the art of mountain flying. I am spent....but for the past couple of days I have thought of the flight over and over again. I just wonder if there are some fears that you can't get over. I doubt it, just takes time, courage, experience and practice.

Next blog, getting over the fear of feeling like I don't have enough. You'd think I lived through the freaking depression or something, the way I worry about things.