Something to smile about...

Just a quick update, I came home from Virginia on Friday. It was a beautiful day here today so I took a couple of really long walks. I thought a lot about everything that has happened in the past few days and really the past few years. I am trying to get to a place where I don't feel the sadness, although I know it will be with me for awhile. One thing that I thought about that made me smile, was the mounds of peanut M&Ms. Long may Memories and Magic live on....

Surreal

I flew to Virginia yesterday and part way through the flight I had an incredible feeling come over me. When I landed, the feeling was confirmed, Susan had passed away. I was able to meet with her husband, Bob and sit with her for a few minutes. I am grateful for that. It has been a totally surreal 24 hours.
The last time we were together, I snapped this picture. It is how I will remember her most.

My Friend Susan

Susan at the Sales Meeting

I have a great girlfriend in Virginia who has been a partner in crime for probably close to 17 years now. I met Susan Laurents when I first started working at Sallie Mae a long long time ago. It wasn't friends at first sight, not by any stretch of the imagination, and my memory isn't as good as it could be, but I do know that Susan was like most people, who thought I was some kind of stuck up, self centered, brown nosing, yada yada cold ice queen. I don't know exactly how it happened, but we ended up at a meeting somewhere, doing something crazy together. I remember her telling me that I wasn't at all what she had first thought, which was good, because she thought some pretty bad things! We became life long friends, with some ups and downs, but a lot of really funny stories and adventures.

I love that Susan is just who she is. She's not fancy, flexible or apologetic. There are things she likes to do and she likes to do them her way. You can go along with her if you want too, you just have to understand that she's not going to bend or move an inch from her plan. She loves Mexican food, like me, although I've yet to find and sample her beloved Chico's Tacos, apparently you can only find the taco shacks in El Paso, Texas and trust me, I've hunted for them in years past and never found them. I love that she always just tells me the way it is, whether I like it or not. I also understand that she likes and needs to be in charge. She was the event and meeting planner for many years. She orchestrated some pretty phenomenal events. She did it her way and she never liked it when people didn't go along with her. I'm also grateful that she has loved me enough to forgive my shortcomings through the years. The times I thought I was too important, the bonehead behavior and the long spans when I didn't call her.

I also love that she is a candyaholic. I've never seen such a stash as this woman kept in her home and office (she actually had a fridge and pantry in her cubicle. And she always had the best swag. And she always had peanut m&ms

We went through a big phase of "do it yourself" body wrapping. We tried some crazy stuff...mustard powder (we can never go back to a certain hotel in Palm Springs), Vicks-YIKES this was not a good idea! Many other potions and concoctions, each with a story and some milk out the nose laughing attacks.

We also had an imaginary "secret box" between us. The secret box is for the best secrets and juiciest of tidbits. Things we shared with each other about life and our thoughts and our feelings. The secret box has gone on for so long, that neither of us can remember all the secrets, but it's nice to know they are safe.

I'm leaving on the 25th to go share the last of the secrets with Susan (yes, there's still a couple that I've never dared breathe out loud). Susan is in a hospice in Arlington, VA she's been valiantly fighting lung cancer for over a year now. She's very sick and we both know that this will be the last time we get to be together as friends on this earth. It feels really hard, and really unfair that life is ending like this for her, she's a great person with a huge heart. One thing that we have in common is that both of us desperately wanted to be moms, but neither of us got that wish. Our lives are similar in a lot of ways, as we both have had the joy of being an Aunt to some great nieces and in my case, nephews. Susan would have been an awesome mom and I hope that it is true that she will have that opportunity in the next life. This is such a surreal time for me, it is so hard to believe this is happening. I'm not sure how to say good bye to my friend, I only know that I can't get there fast enough.

Aim for the Heart

On Friday of this week, I got the honor of helping my sister Karen facilitate a session with her stake Primary President's. I helped her last Fall with an aviation theme, this time it was a heart theme. The 2 hours went by so fast and I know that everyone really got a lot out of the day. Karen provided the spiritual growth part of the program, I took the experiential part. We did a lot of great activities to help cement the concepts, the ones I lead were the Mine field and the Helium stick. Pictures of both activities are included. It was such a great day and I learned a lot from watching my sister. She has the glow of the spirit inside her and she is a natural born leader.

The biggest compliment was paid to Karen by one of her ward Presidents who said something along the lines of this...Sister Mendenhall is such a great leader, she puts so much into each meeting that I am excited to attend. I know that time with her is time well spent and I love her for it. WOW! I totally agree!

On Saturday Karen took me out for a crash course on geocaching. We went towards Zion and quickly found our 5 caches. On the way home we made a detour to Grafton where we had a lot of fun taking pictures! It was such a great day to be able to spend time with her. I will treasure this day forever!

Sad Day...

Little did I know I would get to practice my emotional control so soon after writing about it. This morning when I went out to feed, I found one of our mares laying still in her paddock. I knew something was wrong, and I knew quickly that she had moved on to greener pastures. We affectionately called her Houdini, she could get through any fence any time she pleased. She was born with the gift and routinely climbed through the fence as a baby to run and graze with the other horses, leaving her mom bewildered until she climbed back through the fence to nurse.

She earned the barn name of Fancy Pants, just because that is what she was. She wasn't very tall but built like a tank and she always pranced. Anyway, as sad as I am that she is gone, I am happy that she no longer needs to be contained to the barn. I am sure she is running free, kicking and bucking the way she would when we would turn her out for exercise. Did any of you see the Electric Horseman? Remember the scene at the end where Robert Redford turns the horse (Rising Star) loose in Silver Reef? That's how I picture Miss Fancy Pants at this moment. I will miss her.

Click or copy this link for a video clip from the Electric Horseman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPYTjJj1W64

The Art of Emotional Control

Along with the principles of meditation, gratitude and positive affirmation that most of us try to practice or at least dabble in once in awhile is the powerful art of having emotional control

Emotional control isn't about always have good things happen to you or forcing situations to go your way, it simply is stepping back from any situation far enough to look at it from a different angle or vantage point, allowing yourself to see the blessing or the good.

For instance, you suddenly become unemployed. The first response is probably anger, followed by panic, followed by despair. But what if you took a different angle on it and looked at it as an opportunity to learn something new by going to school or taking a class or as a means to separate you from people who may have been sucking the positive energy out of you or the opportunity to try something in a completely new and different area. The change surely brings new people, new ideas and new exploration into your life, enriching it and stretching your comfort zone.

What about the loss of a loved one or the loss of a relationship, or a move to a new place? All can be extremely difficult to weather, but all can bring huge blessings if you choose to look for the positive in the situation. An old relationship ending, will give way to new relationships starting. It may also remove you from an unhealthy relationship that you've unknowingly been hanging onto for too long.

The trick is, letting go of the negative and really searching for the positive place to strive to get to. Like being in a dark tunnel, but moving towards a light. I challenge you to look at your current life situation, then step back and take 2 steps to the left and look at it again. Seek for the positive and hang onto it, that is the way you practice emotional control. You can't necessary control what happens to you and around you, but you can control how you feel about it.

With tax time here, most of us see it as a bad thing (me too!) but I keep telling myself that I am blessed to have an income that allows me to need to pay taxes. The income is the blessing, the tax should be the reminder of that blessing.

Good luck! This one is powerful, but you have to keep practicing....

My Life as a Movie Soundtrack

Becky sent this to me on Facebook, my answers are below. It's wild how it came out. Give it a try!

So here's how it works....

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, IPod, etc.
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For the first question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button twice.
6 Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in.
7. Tag people, and they should do it too!

(This could get embarrassing)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

Opening Credits:
Oh Holy Night, Il Divo

Waking Up:
Mother, Father - Journey


First Day at School:
Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones

Falling In Love:
First of May - BeeGees


Losing Virginity:
Rock You Baby - Toby Keith


Fight Song:
Never Tear Us Apart - INXS


Breaking Up:
Since I don't Have You - Guns and Roses


Prom:
Something to Believe In - Poison

Life:
Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns and Roses


Mental Breakdown:
It Will Be Me - Faith Hill


Driving:
November Rain - Guns and Roses


Flashback:
There Goes the Neighborhood - Sheryl Crow


Getting Back Together:
Witchy Woman - Eagles

Wedding:
Lido Shuffle - Boz Skaggs

Birth of a Child:
Heartless - Heart

Final Battle:
One More Try - George Michael

Death Scene:
If My Heart Had Wings

Random Valentine Thoughts

For those of you deeply and helplessly in love, you may want to skip this post. I've been thinking about the whole Valentines scam, yes the constant pressure to run out and buy something that screams, I'm hot for you, I'll die for you, or hope this is good enough for me to slide through on you. It's crazy when you think about it. Some of the ads on TV today were almost disgusting, the Vermont Teddie Bear company basically appealing to guys that if they sent a Teddie bear to their loved one, they would be reciprocated with gratuitous sex. I don't know about you, but love to me is more than that.

I am a romantic, but also a realist. After 15-20-30 years of marriage, it gets really tough thinking of clever ideas, especially when the end game is basically the same, and you gals know what I mean. So I'd love to take a poll on the comments page of the clever ideas you came up with this year to impress your men.

For what it's worth, Happy Valentines Day, to those of you with significant others and Happy friends Day to those of you without. I remember the pressure of working in an office and watching as one by one the ladies would get flowers and then there would be a couple of us who didn't. Thank goodness it comes on a Saturday this year and yes, my husband brought me flowers and told me he loved me....

Byalocky

Okay so the rules are simple. Just do what each ones says then tag 3 of your friends and laugh. Have FUN!

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Ann Beardall Anderson

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Annizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal)
Blue Dog

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on/or neighborhood if it's a number)
Beardall Wolf Creek

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Andan

6. YOUR SUPERHERO/CRIMINAL NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Red Pepper

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your last name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms first name).
Ndgerte

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents middle names).
Bernie Deanne

9 . YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets).
Black Sizzle

10 . YOUR HOOD NAME:....first 3 of your first name and add -iqua....
Anniqua Beariqua Andiqua

11. What will you repost this as? (1st letter of middle name; last letter of siblings first name, first letter of your last name, and add lockly)
Byalocky

Tag, you're it, Karen, Misty, Tricia

Booner and Sadie

Sadie and her grossified ball... Booner chillin' on the only piece of snow left in the field....

The final frontier

The final adventure before mom hopped the plane to Las Vegas was a drive out east to Limon. On the way we came across this herd of Antelope. We whipped the car around for the picture and as soon as we took it, the herd vanished. Limon was a bust, but we circled back through some of the small towns like Strasburg, Bennet and Watkins. We found a great cafe for lunch and even a couple of great little country stores. It was a fun day. And to top it all off, it was 70 degrees here today!

More exploring

Another really fun day today, we went into the shops in Elizabeth looking for antiques and treasures. We found a few things we couldn't live without. Next we went back out to look at the site of the small airplane crash, but when we got there the plane had already been removed. As we drove through Kiowa we saw the plane (or what was left of it) on a flat bed trailer. It was a humbling experience to look at what was left. It's been on my mind all afternoon, so it is something I will probably blog about later. I did not take pictures and I am glad that I didn't. A 53 year old man lost his life. It was a heavy experience. On the bright side, I passed my flight physical today and am good to go for another 2 years!


Last but not least, we stopped at the old farm on the way to my house. I'd been trhough most of the buildings, even pilphered a door knob or two, but had never taken pictures. These are the shots from today... and we did find some cool old windows that we took out of the buildings and hid, I'll have to go back when it's dark so I don't end up in the local newspaper...

Can you spot the "crappy day" crapper? There were 2 old outhouses, one with the old catalog still sitting on the floor.

If the walls could talk

On our adventure we stumbled onto this gift! An old abandoned home on the top of a hill. Crazy that the only thing left inside was the skeleton of the old piano. It truly was the "big find" of the day. It has been an AWESOME day!

Colorado Back Roads

My mom is at my house this week and today we celebrated her birthday by doing some adventuring. We took the road south through Elbert, where we saw the investigation into a small plane crash, happened yesterday, so we'll watch the news to get the details. We circled around through Peyton and Calhan, both small towns drying up under the tough ecomonic environment and then headed North. Along the way we came upon these 2 churches less than a mile apart, complete with cemetaries across the road from each other.