My Friend Susan

Susan at the Sales Meeting

I have a great girlfriend in Virginia who has been a partner in crime for probably close to 17 years now. I met Susan Laurents when I first started working at Sallie Mae a long long time ago. It wasn't friends at first sight, not by any stretch of the imagination, and my memory isn't as good as it could be, but I do know that Susan was like most people, who thought I was some kind of stuck up, self centered, brown nosing, yada yada cold ice queen. I don't know exactly how it happened, but we ended up at a meeting somewhere, doing something crazy together. I remember her telling me that I wasn't at all what she had first thought, which was good, because she thought some pretty bad things! We became life long friends, with some ups and downs, but a lot of really funny stories and adventures.

I love that Susan is just who she is. She's not fancy, flexible or apologetic. There are things she likes to do and she likes to do them her way. You can go along with her if you want too, you just have to understand that she's not going to bend or move an inch from her plan. She loves Mexican food, like me, although I've yet to find and sample her beloved Chico's Tacos, apparently you can only find the taco shacks in El Paso, Texas and trust me, I've hunted for them in years past and never found them. I love that she always just tells me the way it is, whether I like it or not. I also understand that she likes and needs to be in charge. She was the event and meeting planner for many years. She orchestrated some pretty phenomenal events. She did it her way and she never liked it when people didn't go along with her. I'm also grateful that she has loved me enough to forgive my shortcomings through the years. The times I thought I was too important, the bonehead behavior and the long spans when I didn't call her.

I also love that she is a candyaholic. I've never seen such a stash as this woman kept in her home and office (she actually had a fridge and pantry in her cubicle. And she always had the best swag. And she always had peanut m&ms

We went through a big phase of "do it yourself" body wrapping. We tried some crazy stuff...mustard powder (we can never go back to a certain hotel in Palm Springs), Vicks-YIKES this was not a good idea! Many other potions and concoctions, each with a story and some milk out the nose laughing attacks.

We also had an imaginary "secret box" between us. The secret box is for the best secrets and juiciest of tidbits. Things we shared with each other about life and our thoughts and our feelings. The secret box has gone on for so long, that neither of us can remember all the secrets, but it's nice to know they are safe.

I'm leaving on the 25th to go share the last of the secrets with Susan (yes, there's still a couple that I've never dared breathe out loud). Susan is in a hospice in Arlington, VA she's been valiantly fighting lung cancer for over a year now. She's very sick and we both know that this will be the last time we get to be together as friends on this earth. It feels really hard, and really unfair that life is ending like this for her, she's a great person with a huge heart. One thing that we have in common is that both of us desperately wanted to be moms, but neither of us got that wish. Our lives are similar in a lot of ways, as we both have had the joy of being an Aunt to some great nieces and in my case, nephews. Susan would have been an awesome mom and I hope that it is true that she will have that opportunity in the next life. This is such a surreal time for me, it is so hard to believe this is happening. I'm not sure how to say good bye to my friend, I only know that I can't get there fast enough.